Thursday, March 3, 2016

I'm More Than a Day Late, and I am Enough.

It's 9:07 pm on Wednesday night.  This post won't see the light of day until the next light of day...which will be tomorrow...will be Thursday.
I'm more than a day late, here, folks.  I mean, in case you hadn't noticed.
Oh, I have my reasons.  They're valid.  They're legitimate.
They're hard and they're easy.
They're beautiful and they're ugly.
They're potty training and they're not potty trained.
They're normal and they're unique.
They're big and they're small.
They're mine and they're yours.
I could list all the reasons I'm more than a day late to post here on the blog. 
I could lament my life for you.  I could celebrate my life for you.
But that would be me just parading my life for you.
Which is weird to me.  Because then it would be some competition I would be creating for you, dear heart, and I don't really want this to be a competition between us.  That's not why I'm writing. That's not why I want to connect with you, with myself.
Over the past two days I've softly beaten myself up about not posting on time, but attempted to justify my lack of writing in a effort to salve the self-inflicted wounds on my ego.
"I'm exhausted."
"I just need a quick break."
"This past week was a doozy."
Those things are all true, but they do not speak to what is actually true of me and of you.
Over the past two days a quieter, yet stronger, voice keeps whispering in my ear, and tapping me on the shoulder with its words.
This voice keeps telling me the truth.  It's the truth because I know it's true.  Because every avenue of self-loathing I go down can't seem to debate it with any kind of  reasonable, intelligible defense.
Here it is:
I'm enough.
I'm enough right here and right now.
I'm enough today.
I'm enough without the assistance of anyone or anything else.
Me, Laura Keane, who I am in my entirety because I am a human being and breathe air the way God made me to do it makes me enough.

The thing about that word, enough, means that enough is enough.
The even better part is the freedom that comes with it.
I get to live the life I'm supposed to live because I get to live it.
I get to let myself off of the freaking hook.
I get to let other people off of the freaking hook.
I get to be enough.
So do you.
The hard part is accepting that we are enough.
The hard part is knowing that we might not be perfect in this whole daily dance we got goin' on.
The hard part is sitting in the sunshine of grace, and being totally at peace with it.

I'm not really great at this, you guys.
This last week I just couldn't get up to write by Tuesday. I couldn't do it.
I felt really bad about that, but I'm sitting here writing now.
And that, dear hearts, is enough for me.




2 comments:

  1. Thank you Laura! I am so good at the comparision game. I forget I am enough. Living and really believing this post is where I want to be. Thanks xxxx

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    Replies
    1. Jessica, thank YOU, dear heart! Enough is such a liberating word, isn't it?? Not only quantitatively, but also qualitatively. You are enough! We all are, and that is what is so awesome. Thank you for being in this with me!!

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