Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Eight Years of Marriage

 

 
Look at these two.  They're so dewy.  They're so young.  They're so vibrant. 
They think they're so in love.
Oh man, you guys.  It was eight years ago today that Dearest and I pledged to live for and love one another.  We promised each other for better or worse; for richer or poorer. 
We said the words.  We danced our first dance.  We cut the cake.
We had no idea what we were promising.
Eight years is an eternity and no time at all.  However, I can say that I have learned a thing or two in the past eight years.  Most of them are about myself.  For starters, I know now that on my wedding day I had very little clue how to love myself, much less anyone else.  Eight years ago I was much more selfish than I am today, and I'm still one of the most selfish people I know.  I like things the way I like them.  I want things the way I want them.  I have so little tolerance and patience for people who challenge that. 
If you're thinking, "Wow!  She sounds like a dream candidate for marriage!"  then you would be correct.  And by correct I mean completely incorrect.
Dearest and I have had our ups and downs throughout this time.  Sometimes I was the villain, sometimes he was.  Sometimes he was the star shining brighter the sun, and sometimes I was.  Sometimes we both wanted in this thing, and sometimes we both wanted out.  But through it all, even through the worst of it, we've always found a way to choose one another.  Somehow, someway we've made a commitment to bettering ourselves so we can better one another. 
We look all the wearier for it.  We are far from the glossy-looking love that our wedding photos emulate.  I doubt anyone would look at us now and call us, "the perfect couple,"  but we are okay with that.  We look more incomplete than we did eight years ago, but we are much closer to being whole-both as individuals and as a couple. 
Because that's the thing about love, about true love.  It is an iron sharpening iron.  It is so painful, but so beautiful.  It makes you want to curl up and die, all while forcing you to try to live your best.  The biggest and truest loves- whether in marriage or otherwise- are the ones that look you in the eye and tell you that you are simultaneously the greatest and least.  It is just when they do tell you that you are, in fact, the worst, they make sure to cradle their words with love and admonish you in ways you never dreamed possible. 
The hero of doing that for me is Dearest.  He will likely always be the one who I love to love the most.
So, cheers, Dearest!  We made it this far, and I look forward to living the rest of my life with you.  I am so glad we chose each other on this day eight years ago, and we continue to find a way to choose one another today.  You make me better. 
I love you.

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